My weekend bag was stolen on a train from Dublin to Belfast in March. In fairness to the police in Belfast, they at least pretended to start an investigation into it at the time, but since it was stolen somewhere along the track we all knew the chances of it ever turning up were very slim.
I was pretty much devastated because it was a beautiful bag and a present. Also, it had my passport in it, which is crucial when you're moving country and there is an ongoing strike in the passport offices.
I was properly distraught for a while, so, when I got a phone call on Sunday from Deputy Murphy, who, by the way, I had never heard of, I was surprised and a bit thrilled - hope is a thing with feathers etc.
The conversation went like this:
DM: Hi Ann-Marie, I'm just giving you a call about the investigation into your bag that was stolen on March 18th on the train to Belfast (just to note, he was reading a script)
Me: Oh great!
DM: Yes, I'm giving you a call to let you know we've no leads on the investigation, we haven't managed to track down the perpetrator of the crime.
Me: Oh, ok, but did you find the bag?
DM: No, we didn't. As I say we've no leads, nothing has come up. I was giving you a call to let you know
[4 MONTHS LATER?]
Out of courtesy I then took down his direct extension number and promised him that I would call him if I had any other further questions.
What, dear readers, could these questions POSSIBLY be? Also, who is paying this guy to make these redundant calls?
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